Love At Odds

Is conflict necessary in a relationship? How different is too different? Today, many couples might ask themselves these questions when they fall in love. In Wendy Wasserstein's play entitled "The Man in a Case", Byelinkov and Varinka are a couple who are deeply in love with each other, but face a lot of differences between themselves.

In the short play, it can be seen that Byelinkov is a responsible, honorable, and straightforward man, who simply live to be an ordinary man. He is deeply in love with Varinka that he even promises her to annually "place a lilac in [her] hair"(21) and "write in [his] note pad"(23). However, on the other hand, Varinka is a much more outgoing and very demanding woman in terms of love. This is why, Byelinkov will do anything just to make her happy, "Varinka: Tell me you love me. Byelinkov: I love you" (23). Personally, I see him as the kind of man that will take the bullet for a woman he loves, but got nothing in return. What he got is just endless "sweet" words and talks that means a lot to him, but not to Varinka, "My sweetest dancing bear with galoshes, my little stale babka" (21). At the early stage of their relationship, Varinka may be seen as an outgoing and lovely girl that is clever enough to take Byelinkov's heart easily. But as time goes by, those "sweet" words might not mean anything and it is not enough as a basis of a relationship.

Those differences between the two lovers are what makes me question their relationship even further. Are they really ready to take a step ahead of their relationship into the marital stage? I feel so bad towards Byelinkov, because even the nicest person's patience has a limit. In the last scene of the play, it can be seen that he has got enough of Varinka's attitude, "I never was a sad man. Don't ever think I was a sad man" (25). And he even "rips up the note about the lilac [and] strews it over the garden" (25). I think at that point, he realized how stupid and foolish he has been for doing things for a girl that doesn't respect him as a boyfriend. This scene is like the peak of his anger that he even rips off the promises he have made for her, which I think is symbolic to his broken heart. But then, he began to "carefully picks up each piece of paper and places them all in a small envelope" (25). At that moment, I think he began to realize again how stupid he is for giving up easily on love. Byelinkov noticed that instead of being angry at Varinka, it is better for him to overcome the anger and stitch together those broken heart he has shattered by remembering the things she had done right to him.

In the end, I guess it is normal for conflicts to arise in a relationship. It is what actually builds a perfect and healthy relationship because conflict is one of the ways for two individuals to learn and accept each others' differences. In living life, we shouldn't run away from conflicts, but instead we should stand strong, learn a lesson, and most importantly think about the good things that we have done together. And as for Byelinkov, I've found a perfect quote from the movie The Vow that I think is best to describe his thought after ripping the paper, "I chose to stay with [her] for all the things that [she] had done right, and not to leave [her] for the one thing [she] did wrong."

Images:
Axioo, The Original Play of "Man in a Case" (Byelinkov & Varinka)